Misery

Friday

Lotta shit goin on today, Wound doc came and they were supposed to cut open my wound, they didnt... heh, "next week" not that i want them to, but apparently its 'necessary'. Going through alot of shit, ::Sighs:: with Nick, finally told him to basically bugger off, that Im not takin his shit anymore. Its killin me, but i'm gonna stick to my guns.. im more miserable then i was before... great.

Whata Mornin'

Heh woke up a bit late this morning... but a good thing? Woke up to two fkn styrofoam <sp?> Cups of BROWN water.. ugh this just gets worse and worse as the days go along... I just cant help but sit and sigh Seriously. heh. I know my last entry was on friday, but nothing much has happened in the past few days. Well till this morning. Oh yeh.. Ms Hicks is on vacation >.< shes in such trouble lol. Oh well later everyone =) till lunch? lol something like that.

Pizza Day

Well here I am another "pizza day" and yep mom ate it all, told me my share was in her stomach =P yaay? lol Went down to PT and whatnot, eh standin is gettin easier..Hopefully soon ill walk my ass outta this crazy place. ::Sigh:: i cant believe im still frikkin here seriously. Not much else to report, same shit different day, time fer randoms and such since its raid night =) tata!!

Eh...

Welp its midnight and ::Shrugs:: same shit different day, went down to PT today, Delwin wasnt there apparently hes out sick or something... hope hes feelin better soon ( i never said that tho lol ) um .. I remembered something earlier today, the um wound doc came on wed, and dr canina came last night now they are wanting to poke me n shit take more bloodwork ugh... i wont let them its rediculous that phlebotomist is a window licker ( new word thanks Valeza ) lol um its late im tired, no real breakfast ( overslept ) dinner was sandwich and chips, same for luch.. Watermelon fer breakfast yum =) till tomorrow nini!

Why put off till tomorrow...

Well yesterday i kept "thinking" about writing heh and i never got around to it. Well on the 17th, Dr Canina came. Same short nothing kinda visit, she asked me if i was getting up to PT and such.. Then promptly left after a short once over on my belly the wound that is. They are supposed to take blood come monday, and are considering sending me back to Winthrop. Much as i dont mind going there, id rather not, i would miss out on my PT and i dont want to do that. =( No dinner last night, and again the water came up dirty and filmy just.. yuck. Eh Anyway just wanted to make quick notation to what happened yesterday. I didnt go down to PT today either =( my bellys still hurting but tomorrow im goin down come hell or high water. Kinda upset that Stephanie didnt come today =( it is wed after all. Anyway, till later =) time to go random and such ugh... lol wows a chore these days O.o

Misery

Ahh well here i am again posting heh. Going to actually try and make this a daily thing that i jot down all thats going on, and that which is on my mind =P yeah, giving away pieces of my mind lol. Anyway Today was just HORRIBLE... I was out of bed bright and early, ( with the help of the aides of course ) Went down to PT, and was back upstairs @ 11:20 or so, to find that they had started to wax the floor in my room but the dood went to lunch lol like hes the only onethat can wax my floor? I dun get it seriously... anyway, i was miserable in pain and my leg was numb, my stomach throbbing finally they finished, hours later.. Well it was taking forever for them to get me back in bed, finally i told Malou that I was going to throw myself on the floor i would be more comfortable then the gd wheelchair... oy vey. Todays moms birthday =) Happy Birthday to ya!! Beeeeuuuteeefullll >.< ugh, lol one of these days imma strangle that woman that does the morning announcements. And by today i mean the 16th i know this is going to post on the following day because its after midnight. Eh well nothing much else happened... till tomorrow nini =)

~B

Spitting nails...

Man am I pissed, way to start a fuckin  monday morning... By being woken up to being stabbed in the back of my hand by a phlebotomist that cant stick the broad side of a barn... Want to talk about waking a bear? I sat in bed and cursed them out, both her and Alma, I was out cold asleep and here they stroll into my room and do this bullshit. I hate that chick that draws blood, it used to be her mother before (Whom sucked btw) now its her... and they did this shit with me DEAD asleep. Dont bother to wake me up or anything? Man ... Just like the title says, i am spittin nails. Last night pretty uneventful, heh i guess its because this crap was in the works...Till later

~B

Dinner...

Yeah well its dinnertime around here and as per my usual these days I refused the tray, however i took my "waters" so i could make myself some instant coffee... lol and low and behold once i mix in my coffee and sugar and start stirring the hot water i notice a slight film on top of the water =) Appetizing eh?

Brookhaven

Okay lets see how I got to this point I'm at atm. I got sick about a year ago in June of the summer of 2009. Now I find myself in a rehab called Brookhaven. A bout of pneumonia compounded by me fighting off the people in the ER, then tearing my abdominal hernia ( which soon after was operated on ) has landed me here. Sent here to get back on my feet and walk since I had been "laid up" for a few months I thought the trek would be a quick one... Stupid me heh. 

I have now spent a year and then some here in brookhaven, the aides and nurses caring and good at what they do make this place somewhat tolerable. The food horrible makes for skipping a few meals easy heh. I remember a few years ago hearing about this place, a place that was supposed to be aces in helping people lose weight. Now I know why first hand ::smirks:: The food makes you sick, if not, you find an occasional hair in it, oh wait... and better yet bugs =). Yeah I'm what I call a huge bugophobe lol. I freaked out when I saw the fly pressed into the bread of my sandwich. Thats a story for another time tho.

The reason for me starting this blog is to keep an accurate account of the goings on here in brookhaven and have it dated and such. I write things down now in a small daily planner but the lines are small and whatnot and I just cant "vent" =) Which I plan on doing here. Mom much as I love you, I am SICK of you telling me to write it down when I do =P. This way I figure I can vent and give accurate accounts of whats going on day by day without it being "just" on some paper they will probably accuse me of falsifying. 

Alright quick short version of whats been going on so far. Pneumonia, hernia, then brookhaven where i spent about three months straight laid up in bed because they were afraid to have me sit up/walk etc due to my hernia surgery. Then some more months passed, and some more I wasnt getting any bedside PT, just OT ( theres a difference PT, is for strengthening and maintaining your legs, as were OT is occupational therapy upper body and arms ) Scared now to stand and walk on shaky legs I hesitated for a long time, they got me up and things were somewhat okay.. I stood up in my room with a walker for the first time in months. Three people there to help me, one on either side and then one in front of me. It actually felt good, shaky but good. Couple of weeks past, and then I was downstairs in PT, they kept pushing me to stand again ( even though I kept saying i wasnt ready to. I felt that I needed some more work in PT downstairs in the gym ) Eh... They didnt listen, with one person sitting in front of me on a chair, I was made to stand on the parallel bars. No one on either side ( One because one side is blocked by a wall, the other side usually has ppl in wheelchairs blocking that rail ) Needless to say I fell... My arm caught on the parallel bars I swear i thought it was going to snap and break. They pushed me to the cold floor ( where I stayed for a good 2 hours waiting on fire rescue ).

From the cold floor of Brookhaven I went to Winthrop Hospital. ( Not a new place for me to be, nor would it be my last visit unfortunately. ) In winthrop they found that I had compartment syndrome in my leg and I needed surgery ( another huge setback in my path to recovery.) They cut open my leg, and basically kept me in the hospital for about a week, everything was fine when they sent me back to Brookhaven. Having been back a week after the sugery on the lower left leg and having a skin graft taken to cover it from my right thigh, the right thigh slowly became infected. Brookhaven nurses wouldnt change the dressing without specific orders from the "Doctor" Not sure exactly which doc they meant but that was the reasoning... That lil "episode" turned into an infection on my right thigh. Again i went back to winthrop, Spent 5 weeks there or so to get rid of it before they would send me back to brookhaven. 

The days seem to blurr together, they become all one and the same. Im not sure exactly how long passed but I remember soon after having gotten sick again and landing up back in the hospital unconsious for 2 days straight. The doctors and such in winthrop so worried over my condition they kept close eye on me. This is where Dr DiMaio came into my life. I thank the heavens above for him and everyone at winthrop. He had taken note of me being back in the hospital yet again and actually called my mother to ask her permission to oversee my case. I cant tell you how greatful I am for the staff at winthrop hospital. The nurses are incredible, the aids are wonderful and the doctors are caring. I couldnt have had better care in a hospital then I did there. The food was good too =). 

Alright now that my leg had surgery and such, Another few months laid up? yeah... heh. Okay so trying to shorten this some. A few more hospital stays and whatnot and here we are... All for different things, fevers, infections etc..

It's sat afternoon and im sitting here doing this blog, something I had considered doing quite a few times but now determined to do this because it may help my sanity... The "blurred" day in and day out of this place is turning my brain to mush... I want to go home, to get outta here and leave this god forsaken place. To get back home to my kids and family. My mother an angel in all this, I dunno what I would do without her. She brings my spoiled ass food every other day, snacks and such too ( once i a while a goodie or two lol ) My father driving her crazy on her drive down here lol they deserve one another, they drive each other crazy its pretty funny to watch. Then theres my Gmother, She comes to see me on occasion and it breaks my heart when they leave. I hate being here, I dont think Ive ever hated anything more. My kids... It just kills me when they leave, granted they are grown and whatnot but still. I miss them, with all my heart. I hate not being there for them, for them having to go through all this. I know my family is suffering "for" me as much as I am suffering missing them. 

Im sure as time goes by and I continue this blog you will see the mention of alot of names.. Ms Hicks, Ms Gains, Fanny, Jill, Jackie and a bunch of others. These are the women that have been helping take care of me for the past year... The list has gotten quite long. I've had to write the names down as so I wont forget... well for what I have planned ( secret atm lol =P so deal with it ) 

Just a last note, weirdest thing.. I had been thinking of doing this blog like i said, days and days id go and come to this site and never get it started. Well this morning I said "today" and after breakfast and such, the nurse doing the dressing on my belly and whatnot, I started the blog... lol Im typin this blog as im sitting here watching Diary of a mad black woman =P Just thought it kinda odd that I started this then the movie started >.< Anyway, =) Till later, or tomorrow.

~B