Thursday, October 14, 2010

Sick to my stomach...

What do you do when everything is crashing down around you? When one day melds into the next.. When you have nothing left but dispair? Im done I am so far done it isnt even funny any more. I need something... anything... This fuckin place has cost me everything I hold dear. The man of my dreams, my kids, my life my livelyhood. I want to go home but apparently thats not happening, she doesnt want me there.. I cant deal with this place anymore, im fuckin miserable 99% of the time, and that 1% is when im talking to Nick.. I dont even have "him" anymore so to speak. Living on the hope that shit will work itself out isnt enough anymore.. I just want it all to end... I just want all the pain to go away, the hurts to stop... I want to go home, but thats not happening... Home, its so far away, im fuckin miserable, im tired of crying, i have like no tears left... I wanna go home, Brookhaven has stolen so much from me. The ache in my heart pales in comparison to the screaming agony my leg is in.. I wanna go home....Not sure how much longer Im going to keep going. No real reason to anymore tbh...

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