Happy Thanksgiving...

Dunno how true this is... but hardly happy for me, being still in this god forsaken place... Eh mom came yesterday, turkey was good, sucks still being here. Doc came in the morning to "Examine" me i was half unconsious tired as hell... and he did his "thing" poked my side, legs etc and then walked out. The day was slow, boring same shit as always.. Oh yeah and the aide last night didnt even bother to show her fuckin face in my room. Whatever...

Same shit tonight..

Aide JUST showed up now at 10:54 pm, asked her hours ago @7 pm for the damn towels to wash myself up and shit and she was like "oh ill be back in a lil while" so fuckin glad i got to wash up before it was proverbial too late... ( long personal story but wtfever seriously ). Anyway im just all around fuckin annoyed.. Nothings changed everythings still fuckin miserable.

~B

Curious...

I have been wondering alot what my rights are... Like wiht all the shit thats going on these days with the aids and stuff... I mean i dont think i am being unreasonable am i? Is it okay for them to try and force me to take aids that i dont know? That make me feel uncomfortable? i dont want to be getting ppl in trouble, i dont WANT to turn around and have to feel like theres a bunch of men in the room staring at me... This isnt a "mental" issue, its a personal one. They are trying to make it seem like im fuckin crazy or something.. im not. I just feel VERY VERY VERY uncomfortable with all the new ppl that are around, im not saying they arent skilled, i dont rightly fuckin care about their skills. I dont want to be getting ppl in trouble but ill say this. If this continues to deteriorate <sp?> i am going to call the fucking state and get them in here. This is unfair, and bad care on my part ( to me in other words ) ugh... its apparently coming from "Nancy" that they are not allowed to swap me around, which imo is fucking stupid since the aids are more then happy to take me ( the ones that know me in other words ). They are just doing this to make me miserable.

Oy frikken vey...

No one understands me, or maybe they do... and just ignore it? I dunno, shits pretty much the same.. However ive been sticking to my "guns" about the CNA's that take care of me. I dun understand why they dont "get" that ive been here over a fuckin year, a year and a half almost exactly... and I just dont WANT new ppl looking at me. Not like sitting in the room looking at me, just "seeing me naked" fuck i mean i dont even want to look in the mirror myself let alone show my ass off to the world for lack of a "nice" way to put this.. im frustrated, now apparently its coming from "Downstairs" that the CNA's arent allowed to switch me off the assignment to one of the girls that have had me before... This is okay i guess im going to deal with it the best way i can.. No water pills and just washing myself up, no drinking either, since thankfully.... i dont "go to the bathroom" more then once a week thats not a huge concern of mine i can deal with that when i cross that bridge i guess. My take is this, they make it worse then it is atm? Then fuck it imma call the state and complain. I mean why is it they dont understand... Oh yeah, the water? well it was "apple juice" colored this morning and lunch was only slightly lighter, why is it this fuckin place isnt worrying about shit like this? Instead of worrying over how to make me miserable? heh. Go fuckin figure... Its okay to feed food with bugs, hairs, etc in it to patients, oh yeah and give them brown water that might have come from the sewers but its not okay to just make them more comfortable by not having strangers looking at them ugh.. Wtfever seriously. Till next time i guess if anyones even frikkin listening.

~B

Just like... omfg...

Im speechless rofl the woman with the silver tongue. go figure... Howd i get this way? well... lol the woman that took over for Stephanie just frikkin left me speechless seriously... she turned around and said to me "Have you ever met yer online 'friends'? Do they actually HAVE lives not like you..." like wtf?! she did NOT just say that to me did she? Rofl, I just kinda looked at her and "::Blinkblinked::" then went back to what i was doing in UO lol i ignore this woman for the most part she just ... ugh does not sit well with me i dunno why and well now she just rubs me the wrong way LOL. Anyway just wanted to make a note of this before i forgot about it LOL enjoy! 

~B

Eh same shit...

Different day, not that it matters much in this gd place oy... How am I gonna keep sane in this place, world of warcrafts boring, Nicks giving me shit ( not that thats a new thing lol ), Catas coming and I have no home for Doly sadly =(... Bored out of my mind, I just wana go home. Oy that lady comes today, or tomorrow not sure when she kinda just shows up. Oh yeah, yesterday the nurse gave me the wrong prescriptions. heh. Wasnt Ms Grant tho... I didnt bother reporting it or taking them I just tossed em all out. God you cant trust anyone in this frikkin place... I need to make some phone calls today i guess get in touch with Debbie, and uh ... dumbass ::Smirks:: Big Luis... or Elvin heh. Sadly I havent been able to get in touch with Willie, im worried about him =( Oh well till next time. 

~B

Ticks me off...

That I have to explain myself over and over... eh its been a week or so since my last post.. Ive had a few setbacks, I nearly fell again in PT, and my wound opened up somewhat ( eh hard to explain but you get the idea of what im saying ) Anywho. I miss Stephanie sadly, ugh this other woman just crawls under my last nerve seriously... Today she came in talking to me about my problem with the afternoon shift. Long story but basically im at the point where I dont want new aids i dont think this is a huge request i just cant do it anymore. I dont want ppl looking at me naked sue me. Ive always felt this way and its been over an year and a half that ive been in this fucking hell hole you cant tell me they cant accomodate it. I dun care tbh, im sticking to my guns. Ugh she came in and did nothing but irritate me. Nevermind the fact that the gd Social worker came in earlier today and i SWEAR i didnt hear her knock, i was naked and Ms Hicks was washing me up... ugh... just fucking ugh... then the social workers like "oh well can you cover up? I just need to talk" i mean are you fucking serious? Go away? Oy vey... Anyway, thats just the tip of the iceburg. Heh im on the phone with Nick atm, so im only half paying attention to what im 'typing'. Night for now, gonna go talk to him some more till i fall asleep... I wish he would fuckin admit that we belong together and fix shit... thats a story fer another day tho... Nini bloggers everywhere. =)

~B