Is anyone even listening? I honestly dont expect anyone to be reading this... but some solace remains in just venting... Well this too is getting old.. Its not solving my problems its not even going to be a "reliable source" since they think i lie about shit.. Eh.. im tired... Tired of living day in and day out in this fucking hell hole.. I need to go home but i cant do that.. Im miserable, I cant tell you how many fuckin nights i cry myself to sleep.. But like ive said before. Out of sight out of mind ?Eh... Was talking to mom again today and she thinks by them holding me prisoner its gonna keep me alive? its not, im dying slowly.. i can feel it, im dying inside... Im sick all the time now i feel like constantly wanting to vomit... Im miserable i cant state that enough. I want to get the fuck outta here, i want to go fucking home. (And im not even wanted there) Okay so what now? I have no mother fucking clue...
This all just proves to me im not needed... nor wanted tbh. The kids dont give a shit they dont miss me... Mom well shes still in her "out of sight out of mind state" Im miserable i want to end this pain, the fuckin suffering im going through and putting everyone else through.
I cant even see anymore through the sheet of tears... Until whenever..
~B
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