One week more

This is my last week here in hell, yanno i sit and think and feel bad for those that have to remain.. Its 740 pm on sunday, and my fuckin bells been on for @4ish hours... awesome hu? rofl, cool that i was chokin my brains out earlier cuz of that "frog" in my throat. I got a headache now, had the bell on to tell the nurse about the stuff that came off the tray... heh. So glad im not hungry, yet another couple of days that i havent gotten the correct shit on my tray... yes shit. Such is the food in this place. Soon as i get out of this fuckin god forsaken place im goin to the state, along with a lawyer.. This crap here needs to come to an end... oh well just a notation about the time on my bell so they cant say im lying. They already have as a matter of fact. The Nursing sup said "oh i was there and no bells were on"? mind ya, i dunno who this woman is and she was nasty as hell to me on the phone. Eh, idc anyway... =) 7 days and counting...

~B.

Signs of a soulmate?

How do you know when you've found your soulmate? Is the fact that the moment you think about them the phone rings and its them calling, a sign? How about no matter what is wrong they are the only one that can make you laugh or forget yer angry with a simple glance? Word? Okay... even just a touch of their hand... Is that a sign? How about when they spend hours and hours talking to you about nothing in particular and you never tire of one another... That a sign? Cuz if they are, then he is the one... When Im not with him, im lonely, even to the point of tears... When im pissed, he can say the stupidest shit and I cant help but laugh, all the anger washing away. And damned if he doesnt call at the exact moment i get back, or the same instant i am thinking about him for some reason or another... 

He is whats kept me going in this place, the sanity anyway. I swear i could have killed ppl at times with the frustrations and everything else thats going on here, but he made it alright. 

Its been a while but I dream of him all the time, they are so real vivid... hardly a substitution but dreams that i never want to wake from...

~B

Going home soon finally heh...

I mean its about damn time, took the elevators breakin down to make my mother see that this is the worst place on the planet and that its time for me to come home. Still walking with some difficulty, i do what i can tbh... Fuckin hurts to walk on that damn foot = /

Well, same shit different day not like stuff changes here, bells on for hours and i mean HOURS. The other night was on from 7ish? pm till 11... heh. Again the elevators arent working, and im petrified to even take them... uh.. nurses are slackin, they treat me "mediocre" if i ring the bell it "annoys" some of them and shit heh.. go fig, i never fucking bother and yet im a bother lol.

My plan is when i leave here imma call the gd state and report all the shit... and turn around and leave Debbie Flack a letter iwth my gripes i wont say anything now tho heh... would just cause more trouble...

~B

Oy frikkin vey..

Todays been a bitch seriously, all afternoon the light on and not a gd reply. 2 1/2 hours waiting for someone to answer the bell, and only person that came was the girl bringing the dinner tray. Soooo yah... ::Smirks:: like wtf? Then Tracy came and I told her i could wait a bit since she had other ppl, and now its 10 pm and the bells on AGAIN fucking for over an hourish? i guess im losing track, and shes not even bothering to answer it. Matter of fact she was outside my room i called her she said brt and took off. ugh.. i gotta get the fuck outta here seriously sick of this place and this bs... just a lil note to remind myself whats going on on this great frikkin sat night ::Rolls her eyes::

~B

This mornin..

I spent the morning under the covers snuggled down with my thoughts.. dreams... I cant .. ::Thinks of how to word this:: I cant tell you how long its been since ive dreamed of "him" But god it felt good... I woke up with tears slipping silently down my cheeks.... He saved me in the dream, stabbed someone in fact.. Someone was trying to hurt us ( long story ) and he saved me, then took me in his arms. Tilted my face up to his with the gentlest of touches... It wasnt like he was a faceless man it was him... I could feel his hand on my cheek, God i love him. He took me into his arms and held me close, among other things. I could smell him, i closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, i knwo i didnt want to wake up. Even now writing this the tears are sliding down my cheeks. Will he ever come to his fuckin senses? Heaven help me i hope he does, the ache in my heart remains even after all this time.

I sit thinking from time to time and I cant help but cry, to myself because whos gonna listen? Who can I talk to? no one really, not even him, not about this.. I love him desperately, with all my heart, he is and will always be my soulmate no matter what happens. Keeper of my heart, i hope he realizes just what he has. Night.

~B

Forgot on friday =(

I was going to put a >.< in the title lol but it wouldnt let me. Anyway... I meant to post this on friday and completely forgot... Well the past few months in the rehab from hell, the elevators havent been working... Around... October? The middle one stopped working, and @ Feb? or so the end one on the right stopped working... Well GUESS What happened on thurs.... Can ya guess?

okay okay... im sure ya guessed it. I went down to PT ... and yep, i got stuck downstairs. Can ya guess why?! lol Yep... The elevators ALL stopped working, i havnet ever seen the frikkin admins of this place panicing so badly. =) i found it quite amusing. I havent been downstairs since tho, but thats because im afraid ugh.. but ive been walking up here =). Monday PT starts again i wanted to give a few days to our fuckin pos elevators to be sure they werent gonna kill someone =P namely me lol. 

Anywho, Same shit different day, oh yah, Happy Mothers day to all the moms out there =). My favorite quote?

My identity rests firmly and happily on one fact: I am my mother's daughter. ~Spanglish.

Anyway Thats my two cents for now =) Gonna be goin home soon screw this place. Sadly i will miss the CNAs and such but god i hate this gd place =) LATER!!

Heh its been awhile

Nothing eventful ever happens, its always the same shit tbh... Crappy food, crappy care etc.. Today however was .... exceptionally eventful? lol, I went down at my usual time fer PT, and lo and behold, the LAST elevator stops working, so myself and a bunch of others are stuck downstairs with no way to get back to our rooms. I mean seriously, two fuckin elevators have been out for months and i mean ALOT of months, i think the mid one went around Octoberish? i want to say... not sure. And then the other around feb or so.. jan? Anyway they were  runnin around like chickens without heads lol was pretty funny to watch them panic. =). Dinner? yah submitting my ticket in the morning makes everythin better... not. Grilled cheese for dinner my ticket read in BIG ASS CAPS "NO TOMATOES" guess what they sent? LOL... I know i dont have to "say" what it was, anyway, i gave those to Smichaels, and she told Tina, to have em send up the sandwiches without tomatoes... lol and thye sent up two more grilled cheese... yep... With tomatoes =) yaay, so those went into the garbage lol. Sucks to not have eaten all day. oh well.

Till next time..

~B